I swear most days I wake up, look around this world and I am convinced I’m an alien. That I was just dropped off here one day by the people of where I am really from, where I really belong, where I actually fit in. Somehow by some tragic mistake I was left behind amongst people who look just like me, walk like me and talk like me but they are nothing like me. It felt like some Clark Kent stuff minus the super powers; no just lost and weak, left here to wander with no road map. Thanks for that. Really.
I walked the streets and learned to adapt and act like everyone else, I figured out how to fit in and disguise myself to make other people think I was one of them but everything about this world and how it functioned always seemed so foreign to me. I convinced myself that something was wrong with me, that my brain had faulty wiring. I think I did a pretty good job at assimilating, at least that’s what I’ve been told, but that didn’t change how I felt inside- completely strange and out of place; utterly different.
I wondered if someone would just examine me under a microscope then they would see they would finally understand I wasn’t meant to be here. They would be able to see in my DNA that I didn’t belong. You can only survive in a foreign world so long.
When I was younger I used to wish that a spaceship from my real home would come and pick me up and take me back there (I kid you not). I have told people that if one day someone knocked on my door and gave me an ultimatum that I could pack my bags and up and leave off to another unknown galaxy far far away, but the catch would be that I could never to return here, I would have to leave everything behind. I told people I would do it in a second, that’s how alone I felt. Anywhere in this universe was better than here.
But then I realized I was looking at this from all the wrong angles. At the time I didn’t feel alive. Everyday I was just aimlessly floating around, existing but not living, and I was desperate for anything to change that. Now I see things more clearly. I’m no alien and neither are you but we are certainly different. Maybe our brains are wired differently than the “normal person” (what is normal anyway??) but that doesn’t make us weak or useless or alone. Being different is a gift, an incredible asset given to you if you can only learn to harness and apply it the right way.
By this I mean forget society. Forget the pressures and expectations of this world. Stop trying to force yourself to fit into a mold preconceived for you. Take a second to just stop and breathe. You are meant to be here, you are in the exact place you need to be. We are all born with an unique purpose that no else in this world can replace, I truly believe that. Live your life for you, not anyone else. Difference is beauty. Take in this world in the unique way that you perceive it and take that spark inside you; that fire waiting to ignite and let it burn just as you are… magnificently bright.